Stop

Ironic- Dramatic irony lies in the audience's deeper perceptions of a coming fate, which contrast with a character's lack of knowledge about said fate.

I have learned how pointless it is to plan the future. My fate is not my own. It is a strange feeling wandering through life with no grasp of what might happen. Anytime I have tried to plan, something always changed. Not having hold of the reigns is both scary and peaceful all at the same time. Truly though, my life is not unlike anyone elses. I just realize I have no control whereas some still think they do. I can't control when I die, when my hair will turn gray, or any circumstance that surrounds me.

I look back, and realize not only how blessed I have been but how my life has been enhanced by situations most people would consider amiss. I wish a couple of things could be different but I don't regret what happened.

On another note, if you are going to act stupid would you stop doing it around me. It must be something in the air that is driving normal people to act like complete.... .

Also, I am no longer going to be a doat herder *smirk* haha - so write it down in your calenders. As of March 20, 2007, Abigail refuses that postion. It is very unbecoming for a lady (yes, occasionally I feel I must act as such. Pointless really, because being and acting are two different things).

I will be leaving for San Antonio in the morning - wish me luck... Love you......
~Abigail

It felt so real but it was just a dream

I hate what these lies have come to mean

Well I try to carry the load

Didn't want you to know

I'm pulled to the side of the road
Please turn red

Another light means another minute

Want vs Need

The choice of "want" versus "need" always seems to be the hardest. To be honest, I am extremely independent and yet....

I wish it didn't have to be this way. I wish I was stronger, more careful, less honest with myself... But in reality, I know what my downfall is and though it hurts I avoid it.

I'll tell you flat out
It hurts so much to think of this
So from my thoughts I will exclude
The very thing that
I hate more than everything is
The way I'm powerless
To dictate my own moods

I've thrown away
So many things that could've been much more
And I just pray
My problems go away if they're ignored
But that's not the way it works
No that's not the way it works

-Relient K

And it was all yellow....

Last night, I attended my cousin's wedding. They are such an amazingly perfect couple that is is almost borderline pathetic. (Not really, but it does have a single girl thinking ).

I was surprised as to what my thoughts where when I thought of one day having my own wedding. Needless to say - THAT WILL NEVER WORK (Not the wedding part - just the thoughts part).

I did however have a great time...

~A

Stars over Texas

I have learned that being myself only causes - well... more Abigail moments. After being called "crazy" at least 25 times today I have decided to make something clear... YES, I KNOW I AM CRAZY... Heck, it is the only way I will have it. Put up or shut up....

Today, was an interesting day. Even now, I find myself contemplating the force of events jam-packed into this day.

There is a little trick in journalism, if you are going to ask a question which you want a detailed answer, you give the poor person in the hot seat time to think.

~Abigail


Random thoughts:

1) I was asked, today, if I wanted to smoke a joint (I thought people knew me better than that. Obviously not.)

2)One of my teacher came unglued in class... I have been her student for 1 1/2 semesters and I have never seen that particular side of her.

3)I had a lovely lunch...

4) In the last issue of the TC News it looks like I disowned my own article by "hiding" my name.

5)I learned "hating umbrellas" is going to put me at a disadvantage in life.

6) I, Abigail, who loves kids (at a distance) has made a colossal mistake. To prove a point, I volunteered to help a friend at church with the 1-5th graders. I am convinced more people should lock their kids in closets. Too bad it is illegal (JUST KIDDING).

7) I am not easily controlled but I am easily dared...

8)Apparently, my phone is girly... Who would have thought?

9) Also a crazy thing, despite popular belief - I am female...

10)I am getting my hair cut soon and it will be glorious. Right now it is driving me freakin insane.

ITP

I was cleaning out my files on my computer and I found this old article I wrote for the TC News in the spring of 2005. Seeing as Easter is right around the corner, I thought it was appropriate:

From the time I was born, God has had His hand on my life. I was born with an incurable and potentially fatal blood disease called Idiopathic Trombocytopenic Purpura, a.k.a. ITP. My body could not make enough platelets (cells in the blood that help the blood clot).

When I was two months old my parents started noticing that every time they touched me a bruise would appear. The children's hospital where I went for treatment told my mother that I was the youngest person they had ever seen with ITP. A normal platelet count is around 250 thousand. Mine hovered at around 14 thousand.

My distressed mother went home and prayed. She distinctly heard God say, "She will be healed". My mother clung to that word for seven months during every kind of test and problem. At one point my white blood cell count started showing signs of abnormality as well.

When I was nine months old the doctors told my mother that if my platelet count ever dropped below 10 thousand, they where going to have to put me on steroids. Because the first year is the most crucial year of a baby's development, the doctors wanted to avoid this at all costs.

At church one night a lady came up to my mom, laid her hands on me, and prayed a simple prayer of healing. A couple of days later, when my mom went back to the doctor, he came into the waiting room scratching his head. My platelet count was 300 thousand and my white blood cell count was normal.

I have been completely healed to this day.

God has done a lot for me. He is constantly working miracles in my life. Lately He has been dealing with me about the power of prayer. Most of the time, I send up a prayer and wonder if He really checks His messages or not, then later the problem has either been solved or He gives me the knowledge of how to fix it.

God has recently had me praying for miracles. I have been praying everyday for the salvation of several of my friends and for two people who have been diagnosed with incurable illnesses to be completely healed.

Jesus literally died so he could have a relationship with you. He wants to save your friends as much as you want them to be saved. Hell is real and there are people you know going there.
This Easter season, I encourage you to pray and ask for miracles. God is a God of the impossible as demonstrated in my life and the many people of faith portrayed in the Bible. God is no respecter of persons, what he does for one he will do for all. Fight for those you love, don't let them be swallowed up by darkness. The battle can only be won on your knees.

~Abigail

Dang, I was young when I wrote this.... haha.. I still believe everthing I said - now I just happen to know a lot more that goes with it. God still is the God of miracles. And believe me, I haven't been praying day and night for years not to see some changes.

PS:
To all the people that surround me:

I love you guys. Ya'll are all wonderful and I daily keep you in my prayers. I just hope that my shortcomings haven't hurt you in any way. I don't claim to be perfect and so if that is how I come off as trying to rub in your face - I am sorry. When it comes down to it that isn't what I am about.

~A

Valentine Special

My mom told me this hilarious story so I thought I would take a few seconds to jot it down. This post will lack my usual long windedness, but if you are too disappointed I will write a longer one later on an equally fascinating subject.

Today my mom took our dog, Gracie, to have "girl" surgery. Gracie is a stray mutt that wandered up to our house and wouldn't leave. She is a relatively young and annoying( the fact that she is annoying has nothing to do with the story and is the personal opinion of the writer. I thought I would throw it in for background purposes) dog. -Being a firm Ed McMan supporter.*snicker* Yeah right. - We decided there would be no ugly puppies running around for Gracie.

Today they had a Valentine Special going on at the vet, and my mom dropped her off. Later today when she picked her up she noticed that the dog looked like it had been filayed open. The vet told her they had to do "exploratory surgery" because they couldn't find any ovaries.

Furthermore, they said that not only that, but she actually used to have them! She had been spayed before. Which is kinda funny because she didn't even have a scar!!!!

I am convinced this kind of thing only happens to the Howletts. I would say pray for her because she has a long row to hoe, but she really is obnoxious, and I am sorry, but I do not like her.

I know it seems cruel, but it is kind of a permanent initiation into the Howlett mutinent pet club. Now we have a alien dog to go with the retard dog , bed wetter dog, and the three amazingly obese dogs.

A couple of weeks ago, I posted that the old Abigail is back. To update that, she is still going strong, and as they say up here she has learned to, "Put her big girl panties on and get over it." I love ya'll.

-Abigail

The Cynical Single

Thank goodness February is a short month. I don't think I could handle the dark, cold, nasty weather for much longer than 28 days. The whole "Valentine" thing is not much of a saving grace for this month. I think someone just decided -Well this month is so horrible, lets throw in a holiday. It is just one crappy month, especially up here. But don't get me wrong - Chocolate fixes everything.

Yesterday was Leticia's birthday. She turned ____. I like living ,so 25. Yea, she turned 25. She received little gifts all throughout the day- flowers, cookies, cake, and a book.

I spent some time this week at the Minnesota DMV. I have decided that if I wasn't going to ever come home that convinced me - I do not want a Minnesota Driver's License. They actually have to take a drivers test.. I was sitting in the waiting room with the "parents" of the poor teens about to take the driving test, while Leticia was taking her written test (that was the only test she had to take seeing as she already had a Nebraska license). The mothers were going hysteric."Mary is sooo nervous", "Susy has never backed up at an 90 degree angle", "John has never driven a truck before, I know he is nervous. He will never make it" ,and my personal favorite a husband was watching his wife taking the drivers test and as she backed into the flag said "Oh man, she's toast." If that isn't support - I don't know what is..

My back is out, so me and the heating pad are becoming fast friends. I am looking forward to tomorrow when my "family" gets back. They have been gone for a week and I miss them. The place is awfully quiet without them. Yes, I do talk to myself, but it is not the same. I tried to answer back but that just felt stupid. hehehe. Me crazy? AS IF.

No church for me tomorrow either. I do not have the guts to go to their church without them. My mom told me to go find a black church, but I don't think they exist around here. After all only 2 percent of Minnesota is not white. If I could find one though, I would be there in a heartbeat. I am almost convinced that God does not live in Minnesota, and I am more than happy to be proven wrong any way I can. All I know is that I have decided if he lives in me - that is enough.

Though you can't tell in this picture. My nails are really long and pretty and I am really proud of them. So there!



This is my office before I cleaned it. Sorry the pictures are so bad, so get over it. I am planning on taking another picture soon.

This requires no comment. It is just plain funny/stupid. I am talking to Elizabeth, comfortably wearing my Jan Kay Hat. (I never feel quite as relaxed as I do when I am wearing it)

-Abigail



Quote of the Day:

"I feel within me a peace above all earthly dignities, a still and quiet conscience"

- Shakespeare



PS because hardly anyone commented on my last post, my only thoughts are that PETA has been called.

Lev. 13-14 Mat. 13-14