One has to applaud a man who can come up with a unique pick-up line. There is something so absolutely painful about watching a guy use a standard one and having his hopes dashed because of his poor choice. Maybe I am just picky, but I get weirded out if it feels too much like a common everyday pick-up line.
I thought I had heard every one in the book, but the new James Bond movie introduced a new one, “Can you help me find the stationary?” Classy… Yeah right… It was inventive, I suppose, but unless you are Daniel Craig, I just don’t see it working. I have heard many including the standard, “Did it hurt? You know - when you fell from heaven?”, and they typically have the opposite effect of what the guy intended.
In fact, I have made it my mission to come up with anti-pick-up lines. Occasionally a crazy one slips past me to which I have no response. Sometimes creativity gets the better of some people, and they use that one shot with a girl to get straight to their intentions. I have even had one guy ask me “You look different. Did you get laid? Did you want to?” Way to tell a girl up front what’s on your mind.
Yes, there really is no point to this blog, other than to say - if you plan on using a pick-up line anytime soon. Think it through and be creative. And warn your friends…
I guess all this stems from the fact that I am completely not interested in dating and that always seems to be the exact moment many become interested in asking. I don’t know how I can put the “no vacancy” sign any clearer on my forehead. I’m happy being single, and I intend to stay this way for a while.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
The perks
Since the last blog was about what guys do wrong, I feel the need to be fair and say what they do right:
1) Guys are loyal. For the most part, guy friends are huge gossipers. They don’t feel the need to tell that juicy bit of news to their guy friends. Granted there are exceptions to every rule, but most guys aren’t as back stabbing as girls.
2) Guys don’t nag for info: When a guy sees I am upset, he typically asks whats wrong and if I don’t want to talk about it - he doesn’t press me. Instead, he tries to do things that take my mind of my problems. Girls, on the other hand, want to know what is going on and will say anything to drag it out of a person.
3) Guys don’t typically sit down and cry about it: Now while there is nothing wrong with a man who cries, they are known for not being as emotional as females. I find that a plus in EVERY way. I typically relate better to guys and enjoy the non drama relationships.
4) They aren’t petty. Guys normally don’t hold grudges for long periods of time.
1) Guys are loyal. For the most part, guy friends are huge gossipers. They don’t feel the need to tell that juicy bit of news to their guy friends. Granted there are exceptions to every rule, but most guys aren’t as back stabbing as girls.
2) Guys don’t nag for info: When a guy sees I am upset, he typically asks whats wrong and if I don’t want to talk about it - he doesn’t press me. Instead, he tries to do things that take my mind of my problems. Girls, on the other hand, want to know what is going on and will say anything to drag it out of a person.
3) Guys don’t typically sit down and cry about it: Now while there is nothing wrong with a man who cries, they are known for not being as emotional as females. I find that a plus in EVERY way. I typically relate better to guys and enjoy the non drama relationships.
4) They aren’t petty. Guys normally don’t hold grudges for long periods of time.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Random
This post is going to be a few random things I intensely dislike that some guys do:
1) Show off in front of their friends. Sure guys can be sweet and wonderful when you are alone with them, but the second they get in a room filled with other guys, they feel the need to demonstrate who wears the pants in the relationship. Unfortunately, with me that often backfires. I guess as long as I don’t get put down in the process, they can show off as much as they want.
2) They can be non confrontational. If they can sweep it under a rug and pretend it isn’t going to happen, they totally will. I am an in-your-face-kinda-girl. If there is a problem, I don’t believe in letting it fester. I want to talk it out and work on solutions right then and there. That intimidates a lot of guys. I believe in “discussions” rather than fighting, but even that seems to scare them. It drives me crazy that they just can’t come out and say there is a problem so it can be fixed.
3) Obsessed with video games. Ok, so maybe this really isn’t a fair one. We all have our vices. I shall back down. ; )
4) Driven by sex. I can’t tell you how many guys have dated me with only sex in mind. I like to think that there is more to life than sex - Maybe I’m wrong. I have literally had people tell me that they only wanted to be with me if I would sleep with them. I have even had people use that in pick-up lines. (Let me tell you, that was awkward. I prefer that not to be the first thing out of someone’s mouth.). I just don’t like to be seen as a piece of meat.
5) Arrogance. Yes, one word sums it up. If you know your that great, I would prefer not to have to constantly hear about it. I am pretty discerning. It’s one thing to be confident - another entirely to be arrogant.
*DISCLAIMER - Yes, I know that girls have equally bad traits such as being bitchy and whiny… And I know that not all guys exhibit these traits, or if they do, some of them aren’t to the point of driving me crazy.*
This entry was posted on Friday, No
1) Show off in front of their friends. Sure guys can be sweet and wonderful when you are alone with them, but the second they get in a room filled with other guys, they feel the need to demonstrate who wears the pants in the relationship. Unfortunately, with me that often backfires. I guess as long as I don’t get put down in the process, they can show off as much as they want.
2) They can be non confrontational. If they can sweep it under a rug and pretend it isn’t going to happen, they totally will. I am an in-your-face-kinda-girl. If there is a problem, I don’t believe in letting it fester. I want to talk it out and work on solutions right then and there. That intimidates a lot of guys. I believe in “discussions” rather than fighting, but even that seems to scare them. It drives me crazy that they just can’t come out and say there is a problem so it can be fixed.
3) Obsessed with video games. Ok, so maybe this really isn’t a fair one. We all have our vices. I shall back down. ; )
4) Driven by sex. I can’t tell you how many guys have dated me with only sex in mind. I like to think that there is more to life than sex - Maybe I’m wrong. I have literally had people tell me that they only wanted to be with me if I would sleep with them. I have even had people use that in pick-up lines. (Let me tell you, that was awkward. I prefer that not to be the first thing out of someone’s mouth.). I just don’t like to be seen as a piece of meat.
5) Arrogance. Yes, one word sums it up. If you know your that great, I would prefer not to have to constantly hear about it. I am pretty discerning. It’s one thing to be confident - another entirely to be arrogant.
*DISCLAIMER - Yes, I know that girls have equally bad traits such as being bitchy and whiny… And I know that not all guys exhibit these traits, or if they do, some of them aren’t to the point of driving me crazy.*
This entry was posted on Friday, No
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Blind leading the blind cont...
In last weeks blog, I left it at the dramatic point - I stopped answering my phone.
After several calls the guy finally gave up. But I soon couldn’t stand my childishness and decided to call the guy and tell him I didn’t think a relationship was going to work. I was going to give him all the excuses one normally gives in the situation of having a 31-year-old man with two Harleys hitting on her because her speech teacher gave her number out.
I had it all planned out in my head- I would call him and tell him I really wasn’t over my ex. I couldn’t move on - or some such likely excuse.
The phone rang twice, and he answered. With a shaky voice, I asked him how he was doing and he asked me if I got his flowers. Then a horrible thing happened, he started talking to someone else that sounded suspiciously like my speech teacher.
Low and behold, it was. Freaked out, I could no longer continue the “break up”. He said he was over at my speech teacher’s house eating dinner, and I tried to calmly as possible tell him, I hoped he had a great time and I’ll talk to him later.
Nerves shot, I never called him again. He tried once more and gave up. i was worried that my grade in speech class might be in jeopardy, but for some reason, I still managed to pull an “A”.
So yes, I have had my chance at dating the dark mysterious, older Harley-driving man and turned it down. Take from it what you will.
After several calls the guy finally gave up. But I soon couldn’t stand my childishness and decided to call the guy and tell him I didn’t think a relationship was going to work. I was going to give him all the excuses one normally gives in the situation of having a 31-year-old man with two Harleys hitting on her because her speech teacher gave her number out.
I had it all planned out in my head- I would call him and tell him I really wasn’t over my ex. I couldn’t move on - or some such likely excuse.
The phone rang twice, and he answered. With a shaky voice, I asked him how he was doing and he asked me if I got his flowers. Then a horrible thing happened, he started talking to someone else that sounded suspiciously like my speech teacher.
Low and behold, it was. Freaked out, I could no longer continue the “break up”. He said he was over at my speech teacher’s house eating dinner, and I tried to calmly as possible tell him, I hoped he had a great time and I’ll talk to him later.
Nerves shot, I never called him again. He tried once more and gave up. i was worried that my grade in speech class might be in jeopardy, but for some reason, I still managed to pull an “A”.
So yes, I have had my chance at dating the dark mysterious, older Harley-driving man and turned it down. Take from it what you will.
Friday, October 10, 2008
The blind leading the blind
The day was cold and rainy - a sign of what was to come. On Thursdays, I had a several classes including a Speech night class. I was so sick that I couldn’t leave the junior college I attended that day. So I just laid down on the floor and tried to sleep it off. The only reason I made myself stay was because I had a test.
As I sat there taking my test, oblivious to anything besides my own loopiness. (SIDENOTE: I try not to take anything… Because on good days, I smell cough syrup and I am out cold. I have never been tempted to do drugs because it really doesn’t take much to lay me low. That particular day, I had more than my fair share of cough syrup. ) During the test, my teacher called me up to the front of the class. She asked me if I would mind if she gave my phone number to one of her friends. She was completely sure we would be perfect together. He was tall, nice and had a ponytail. Sure he was, 12 years older than me. But what was a little age?
I was completely out of it. I shrugged and told her I really didn’t care. I just needed people to quit harassing me and sleep.
The next morning I woke up with a start, scared at what had happened the night before. I couldn’t remember any details besides the fact that my speech teacher was giving my number out. I finally calmed myself down after realizing the chances of a complete stranger calling my number was slim.
Two weeks later, I received a phone call from a Harley-owning, 31 year old. At the time, I was 19.
After talking to him a week and feeling my grade might be in jeopardy, I agreed to have coffee . I asked him if two of my friends could tag along - a guy and a girl. (SIDENOTE 2:What guy in his right mind goes on a blind date with a girl and her friends?)…
The guy arrived at the coffee shop and stared at me the whole time. Freaked out, I just kept talking. (SIDENOTE 3: I tend to talk even more than normal when nervous) The more I talked the more he acted like he liked me. The next day he sent me funeral flowers. I realize he meant for them to be a kind gesture, but apparently the flower shop had several funerals that week and were in that mindset when they arranged it.
The whole incident disturbed me and so I took the childish approach and stopped answering my phone.
***Read next week’s blog for the conclusion to my second blind date***
As I sat there taking my test, oblivious to anything besides my own loopiness. (SIDENOTE: I try not to take anything… Because on good days, I smell cough syrup and I am out cold. I have never been tempted to do drugs because it really doesn’t take much to lay me low. That particular day, I had more than my fair share of cough syrup. ) During the test, my teacher called me up to the front of the class. She asked me if I would mind if she gave my phone number to one of her friends. She was completely sure we would be perfect together. He was tall, nice and had a ponytail. Sure he was, 12 years older than me. But what was a little age?
I was completely out of it. I shrugged and told her I really didn’t care. I just needed people to quit harassing me and sleep.
The next morning I woke up with a start, scared at what had happened the night before. I couldn’t remember any details besides the fact that my speech teacher was giving my number out. I finally calmed myself down after realizing the chances of a complete stranger calling my number was slim.
Two weeks later, I received a phone call from a Harley-owning, 31 year old. At the time, I was 19.
After talking to him a week and feeling my grade might be in jeopardy, I agreed to have coffee . I asked him if two of my friends could tag along - a guy and a girl. (SIDENOTE 2:What guy in his right mind goes on a blind date with a girl and her friends?)…
The guy arrived at the coffee shop and stared at me the whole time. Freaked out, I just kept talking. (SIDENOTE 3: I tend to talk even more than normal when nervous) The more I talked the more he acted like he liked me. The next day he sent me funeral flowers. I realize he meant for them to be a kind gesture, but apparently the flower shop had several funerals that week and were in that mindset when they arranged it.
The whole incident disturbed me and so I took the childish approach and stopped answering my phone.
***Read next week’s blog for the conclusion to my second blind date***
Friday, October 3, 2008
You know who you are don't do it again.
In 2006, “Do not answer”* and I were dating. He was absolutely in love with one of my sterling silver bracelets. That fact, only slightly concerned me about him - I mean seriously, it was a girl’s bracelet. To make a long story short, he asked to borrow it and said he would give it back to me on my birthday. Unfortunately, we broke up a week later. The bracelet was lost to me - or so I thought.
Now that I am back on speaking terms with him, I asked for my bracelet back. The bracelet has sentimental value to me as it was given to me by my grandmother. After pretending he gave it to some one else, he came clean and promised to mail it.
I find it rather ironic that my birthday is in a week and kinda hope he sends it back to me in time. I am chocking this one up to another strange “Abigail and her ex” moments, of which, I seem to have so many. I’ll keep you posted as to when I get the bracelet back.
PS: The blog title actually has nothing to do with my ex and has to do with a classified ad in The Shorthorn.
*See “Ex marks the spot”
Now that I am back on speaking terms with him, I asked for my bracelet back. The bracelet has sentimental value to me as it was given to me by my grandmother. After pretending he gave it to some one else, he came clean and promised to mail it.
I find it rather ironic that my birthday is in a week and kinda hope he sends it back to me in time. I am chocking this one up to another strange “Abigail and her ex” moments, of which, I seem to have so many. I’ll keep you posted as to when I get the bracelet back.
PS: The blog title actually has nothing to do with my ex and has to do with a classified ad in The Shorthorn.
*See “Ex marks the spot”
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Ex marks the spot
His name became “do not answer” in my phone.
I thought I cared about him a long time ago, but several years later and plenty of time to reflect - I now know better. I broke up with him, but for years, he would randomly pop back into my life during times of crisis. ***On a side note - how many friends can you really have get shot? During the three years I have known him, he has had at least two friends die from being shot, and he has been shot at himself. Crisis follow this boy.***
Recently, he added me on Facebook, and we started talking again. It seriously doesn’t bother me that we talk, but I do find it rather weird. I found out he has been in a six month relationship. Last week, he sent me a message asking my advice on his relationship. (When did I become “Dear Abby?”) After talking him through his crisis and giving him what little advice I could offer, I found myself wondering how I get in these situations. Currently, I am in communication with all of my ex’s, and I am pretty much the first person they call when they need someone to listen or advice. ***sidenote2: He and his girlfriend are doing well. Apparently they have resolved all their problems.***
I still care about each of them on a strictly friendship basis. I have only dated three guys even remotely serious in my life. All of them were my best friend at the time so I know a lot about their past, fears and problems. But is this really healthy?
Saving my ex’s relationships, one day at a time is definitely not how I plan on living out the rest of my life. I guess I am just too nice.
I thought I cared about him a long time ago, but several years later and plenty of time to reflect - I now know better. I broke up with him, but for years, he would randomly pop back into my life during times of crisis. ***On a side note - how many friends can you really have get shot? During the three years I have known him, he has had at least two friends die from being shot, and he has been shot at himself. Crisis follow this boy.***
Recently, he added me on Facebook, and we started talking again. It seriously doesn’t bother me that we talk, but I do find it rather weird. I found out he has been in a six month relationship. Last week, he sent me a message asking my advice on his relationship. (When did I become “Dear Abby?”) After talking him through his crisis and giving him what little advice I could offer, I found myself wondering how I get in these situations. Currently, I am in communication with all of my ex’s, and I am pretty much the first person they call when they need someone to listen or advice. ***sidenote2: He and his girlfriend are doing well. Apparently they have resolved all their problems.***
I still care about each of them on a strictly friendship basis. I have only dated three guys even remotely serious in my life. All of them were my best friend at the time so I know a lot about their past, fears and problems. But is this really healthy?
Saving my ex’s relationships, one day at a time is definitely not how I plan on living out the rest of my life. I guess I am just too nice.
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