Malibu Barbie

Cell phone column for my special section:

It has been brought to my attention that a person can be addicted to just about anything. From sports to pornography, an addiction is a habit so strong that it can not easily be given up.
I would dare say you can even be addicted to cell phones. I recently went on a cell phone “fast” just to prove my assertion. I determined that I would fast from all non-essential calls except for my parents, of course. I didn’t go into withdrawal or shaky hands syndrome but I did have a strong and intense urge to talk to my friends
Last month I was two minutes shy of talking 3000 minutes on my cell phone plan not to mention the text messages and time logged on my land line at home. That is a little over two solid days spent on the phone; yes, there might be a problem here.
This summer I encountered extreme cell phone addiction up close and personal when my place of employment hired Malibu Barbie.
Don’t get me wrong, I love this girl to pieces and we had a lot of fun this summer, but how she could lifeguard a pool of people and talk to her friends about the lack of malls in the area is beyond me. Not to mention how exceedingly hazardous the situation was to the swimmers.
The cell phone never left her ear unless it was on the charger. She had over 140 numbers programmed into her phone, and I am pretty sure she called each one of them at least once a week.
Never before, in all the years I worked there, did we have a problem like this. My boss would tell every one to leave their cell phones at home as plainly as he could, and an hour later I would hear her off in the corner chatting with a friend.
“So like do you think I look, like, better in pink or blue?” or “Justin Timberlake did what?” (Excerpts overheard from a real phone conversation by Malibu Barbie)
Because of her lack of consideration everyone had to “make up” for her. I was constantly redoing or doing her job just so I would know it was done right.
I would never say cell phones are a waste of time; a cell phone is a wonderful device. I honestly feel naked without mine, but it does have its place.
I like the feeling of security I have knowing that help is only a phone call away. This makes my decision to carry one that much easier. But when it becomes an addiction to the point that you can’t even function in the real world, then it’s time to lay it down and move on.
In parting, I will leave you with these words- you can’t live life to the fullest if you contract brain cancer.
Who says an addiction can’t kill you?