Monday, November 27, 2006
Saturday, November 25, 2006
His grace is sufficient...
AKA - the turning point.
Thank God, I am constantly becoming better.He is so
faithful. One never knows how far down the wrong path we have traveled
until we try to turn around and go back.
"Who I Am Hates Who I've Been"
Relient K
I watched the proverbial sunrise
Coming up over the Pacific and
You might think I'm losing my mind,
But I will shy away from the specifics...
'cause I don't want you to know where I am
'cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been.
This is no place to try and live my life.
[Pre-Chorus]
Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
That it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.
[Chorus]
I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.
I talk to absolutely no one.
Couldn't keep to myself enough.
And the things bottled inside have finally begun
To create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up.
I heard the reverberating footsteps
Synching up to the beating of my heart,
And I was positive that unless I got myself together,
I would watch me fall apart.
And I can't let that happen again
'cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been.
This is no place to try and live my life.
[Pre-Chorus x2]
[Chorus]
Who I am hates who I've been
And who I am will take the second chance you gave me.
Who I am hates who I've been
'cause who I've been only ever made me...
So sorry for the person I became.
So sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.
DON'T GIVE UP
-Sanctus Real
Well I heard you say you would love for a lifetime
And now you complain a lifetime just doesn’t feel right for you
Another casualty of casual love
Another soul out of place, a heart that gave up
Why do we break the promises we make?
Are we living for ourselves?
Don't give up on love and throw it all away
Don't give up on love and let it fall away
When did it become so easy to run from your pain?
Don't give up on love and throw it all away
I heard you say you can't change a stubborn heart
I can relate 'cause that's how I feel when I talk with you
Why should it take losing everything
To realize it might be time to change?
Don't give up on love and throw it all away
Don't give up on love and let it fall away
When did it become so easy to run from your pain?
Don't give up on love and throw it all away
Your restless heart won't win 'cause you take but you don't give
And you'll keep moving on until you learn what love is
Things Like You
-Sanctus Real
Loving things like you has wrecked my life, made me cry
Loving things like you has made me lose my mind
And I can't figure out why I've been hanging on
To all these things I've tried to leave behind me for so long
And I think it's time to find a better way to live my life
Than loving all those thingsthat keep me wrapped so tight
Everyone wants everyone else's eveything
Some time's the more we have the less we really gain
I'm tired of life and all that money has to buy
Get out of my heart, out of my mind, leaving you behind
Loving things like you has left me bruised, black and blue
Loving things like you has made me so confused
And I can't figure out what I've been waiting on
God I can't be living for things I know are wrong
Now I think it's time to write a better chapter in my life
Leaving all those things that keep me wrapped so tight
Why are we obsessed with possessions here on earth?
Go and take a look at the flowers and the birds
God is always taking care of nature's every need
And how much more important in The Father's eyes are we?
I said, how much more important in The Father's eyes are we?
He sees everything
Thank God, I am constantly becoming better.He is so
faithful. One never knows how far down the wrong path we have traveled
until we try to turn around and go back.
"Who I Am Hates Who I've Been"
Relient K
I watched the proverbial sunrise
Coming up over the Pacific and
You might think I'm losing my mind,
But I will shy away from the specifics...
'cause I don't want you to know where I am
'cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been.
This is no place to try and live my life.
[Pre-Chorus]
Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
That it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.
[Chorus]
I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.
I talk to absolutely no one.
Couldn't keep to myself enough.
And the things bottled inside have finally begun
To create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up.
I heard the reverberating footsteps
Synching up to the beating of my heart,
And I was positive that unless I got myself together,
I would watch me fall apart.
And I can't let that happen again
'cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been.
This is no place to try and live my life.
[Pre-Chorus x2]
[Chorus]
Who I am hates who I've been
And who I am will take the second chance you gave me.
Who I am hates who I've been
'cause who I've been only ever made me...
So sorry for the person I became.
So sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.
DON'T GIVE UP
-Sanctus Real
Well I heard you say you would love for a lifetime
And now you complain a lifetime just doesn’t feel right for you
Another casualty of casual love
Another soul out of place, a heart that gave up
Why do we break the promises we make?
Are we living for ourselves?
Don't give up on love and throw it all away
Don't give up on love and let it fall away
When did it become so easy to run from your pain?
Don't give up on love and throw it all away
I heard you say you can't change a stubborn heart
I can relate 'cause that's how I feel when I talk with you
Why should it take losing everything
To realize it might be time to change?
Don't give up on love and throw it all away
Don't give up on love and let it fall away
When did it become so easy to run from your pain?
Don't give up on love and throw it all away
Your restless heart won't win 'cause you take but you don't give
And you'll keep moving on until you learn what love is
Things Like You
-Sanctus Real
Loving things like you has wrecked my life, made me cry
Loving things like you has made me lose my mind
And I can't figure out why I've been hanging on
To all these things I've tried to leave behind me for so long
And I think it's time to find a better way to live my life
Than loving all those thingsthat keep me wrapped so tight
Everyone wants everyone else's eveything
Some time's the more we have the less we really gain
I'm tired of life and all that money has to buy
Get out of my heart, out of my mind, leaving you behind
Loving things like you has left me bruised, black and blue
Loving things like you has made me so confused
And I can't figure out what I've been waiting on
God I can't be living for things I know are wrong
Now I think it's time to write a better chapter in my life
Leaving all those things that keep me wrapped so tight
Why are we obsessed with possessions here on earth?
Go and take a look at the flowers and the birds
God is always taking care of nature's every need
And how much more important in The Father's eyes are we?
I said, how much more important in The Father's eyes are we?
He sees everything
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Malibu Barbie
Cell phone column for my special section:
It has been brought to my attention that a person can be addicted to just about anything. From sports to pornography, an addiction is a habit so strong that it can not easily be given up.
I would dare say you can even be addicted to cell phones. I recently went on a cell phone “fast” just to prove my assertion. I determined that I would fast from all non-essential calls except for my parents, of course. I didn’t go into withdrawal or shaky hands syndrome but I did have a strong and intense urge to talk to my friends
Last month I was two minutes shy of talking 3000 minutes on my cell phone plan not to mention the text messages and time logged on my land line at home. That is a little over two solid days spent on the phone; yes, there might be a problem here.
This summer I encountered extreme cell phone addiction up close and personal when my place of employment hired Malibu Barbie.
Don’t get me wrong, I love this girl to pieces and we had a lot of fun this summer, but how she could lifeguard a pool of people and talk to her friends about the lack of malls in the area is beyond me. Not to mention how exceedingly hazardous the situation was to the swimmers.
The cell phone never left her ear unless it was on the charger. She had over 140 numbers programmed into her phone, and I am pretty sure she called each one of them at least once a week.
Never before, in all the years I worked there, did we have a problem like this. My boss would tell every one to leave their cell phones at home as plainly as he could, and an hour later I would hear her off in the corner chatting with a friend.
“So like do you think I look, like, better in pink or blue?” or “Justin Timberlake did what?” (Excerpts overheard from a real phone conversation by Malibu Barbie)
Because of her lack of consideration everyone had to “make up” for her. I was constantly redoing or doing her job just so I would know it was done right.
I would never say cell phones are a waste of time; a cell phone is a wonderful device. I honestly feel naked without mine, but it does have its place.
I like the feeling of security I have knowing that help is only a phone call away. This makes my decision to carry one that much easier. But when it becomes an addiction to the point that you can’t even function in the real world, then it’s time to lay it down and move on.
In parting, I will leave you with these words- you can’t live life to the fullest if you contract brain cancer.
Who says an addiction can’t kill you?
It has been brought to my attention that a person can be addicted to just about anything. From sports to pornography, an addiction is a habit so strong that it can not easily be given up.
I would dare say you can even be addicted to cell phones. I recently went on a cell phone “fast” just to prove my assertion. I determined that I would fast from all non-essential calls except for my parents, of course. I didn’t go into withdrawal or shaky hands syndrome but I did have a strong and intense urge to talk to my friends
Last month I was two minutes shy of talking 3000 minutes on my cell phone plan not to mention the text messages and time logged on my land line at home. That is a little over two solid days spent on the phone; yes, there might be a problem here.
This summer I encountered extreme cell phone addiction up close and personal when my place of employment hired Malibu Barbie.
Don’t get me wrong, I love this girl to pieces and we had a lot of fun this summer, but how she could lifeguard a pool of people and talk to her friends about the lack of malls in the area is beyond me. Not to mention how exceedingly hazardous the situation was to the swimmers.
The cell phone never left her ear unless it was on the charger. She had over 140 numbers programmed into her phone, and I am pretty sure she called each one of them at least once a week.
Never before, in all the years I worked there, did we have a problem like this. My boss would tell every one to leave their cell phones at home as plainly as he could, and an hour later I would hear her off in the corner chatting with a friend.
“So like do you think I look, like, better in pink or blue?” or “Justin Timberlake did what?” (Excerpts overheard from a real phone conversation by Malibu Barbie)
Because of her lack of consideration everyone had to “make up” for her. I was constantly redoing or doing her job just so I would know it was done right.
I would never say cell phones are a waste of time; a cell phone is a wonderful device. I honestly feel naked without mine, but it does have its place.
I like the feeling of security I have knowing that help is only a phone call away. This makes my decision to carry one that much easier. But when it becomes an addiction to the point that you can’t even function in the real world, then it’s time to lay it down and move on.
In parting, I will leave you with these words- you can’t live life to the fullest if you contract brain cancer.
Who says an addiction can’t kill you?
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Dazed
My moto has always been -people are going to fail you so expect it, but I never expected to be so taken in. One of my best and worst attributes is the fact that I forgive so easily, and now- once again, it bit me in the butt. I guess somewhere I made the fatal decision that several people were trustworthy. Boy, was I wrong.
Now, I am just kind of reeling; not sure how to react/respond. How could I not see it coming? I have always been a fair judge of character. Stupidity reigns supreme.
Besides the fact that I am now questioning myself, I am starting to question others. If I was so easily deceived by these people who is to say that unknown to me someone else isn't pulling a fast one on me.
I suppose it is just going to take some time. I need to lick my wounds and move on.
~A
Now, I am just kind of reeling; not sure how to react/respond. How could I not see it coming? I have always been a fair judge of character. Stupidity reigns supreme.
Besides the fact that I am now questioning myself, I am starting to question others. If I was so easily deceived by these people who is to say that unknown to me someone else isn't pulling a fast one on me.
I suppose it is just going to take some time. I need to lick my wounds and move on.
~A
Monday, November 6, 2006
Will this day ever end...
I feel like one of those punching dolls that you beat the crap out of and yet they always re-erect themselves - meanwhile wearing a taunting grin. Though currently, I am only grinning to keep from bawling.
I am constantly wondering exactly how I can one up the last "Abigailism". Well wonder no more- I did. In fact, as near as I can figure, the only thing that could over-power the last situation would be -- A gay guy turning straight for me.
I have had some doozys; I am not even going to lie. Everything from stickering old drunk guys to being kissed by a vampire. And yet each one - worse than the last.
I would write a book about all of this but first off nobody would believe it and second it wouldn't make any sense. I suppose that has me amusing my friends with my little stories but unfortunatly that leaves me wide open for mockery. I think there are MANY details of my life that are better left unsaid.
Amuse yourselves. Ya'll are not laughing over the last couple of "crazy Abigailism's" at my expense. Asking will get you no where. Thank goodness Thanksgiving break is almost here -- I NEED a break. I am going to chock up some previous mistakes to lack of sleep and sanity.(Though I am not sure how true that is) .
I am going to bed.
~Abigail
I am constantly wondering exactly how I can one up the last "Abigailism". Well wonder no more- I did. In fact, as near as I can figure, the only thing that could over-power the last situation would be -- A gay guy turning straight for me.
I have had some doozys; I am not even going to lie. Everything from stickering old drunk guys to being kissed by a vampire. And yet each one - worse than the last.
I would write a book about all of this but first off nobody would believe it and second it wouldn't make any sense. I suppose that has me amusing my friends with my little stories but unfortunatly that leaves me wide open for mockery. I think there are MANY details of my life that are better left unsaid.
Amuse yourselves. Ya'll are not laughing over the last couple of "crazy Abigailism's" at my expense. Asking will get you no where. Thank goodness Thanksgiving break is almost here -- I NEED a break. I am going to chock up some previous mistakes to lack of sleep and sanity.(Though I am not sure how true that is) .
I am going to bed.
~Abigail
Thursday, November 2, 2006
No Vacancy
Seriously, has the world gone mad??? All of the sudden, I feel like I am being surrounded by well-meaning aquaintances trying to hook me up with someone. When did I get the tatoo that reads "Vacant" or "Lookin for love". I am perfectly fine continuing on my cynical single route -never quite finding "Mr. Right". I had at least 3 people today try to set me up with their best friends uncle's son.
Look people, I am in a weakened state. I am freakin' sick and can't be accountable for my actions (today, I couldn't even remember where I parked). I have this wierd feeling that I am randomly going to get a call from Joe or Bob asking me out. Then what in the heck am I going to do. FOR GOSH SAKES- my speech teacher tried to hook me up with someone. What's worse is - I think she is going to.
I have recently come to the conclusion that maybe I am just not marriage material, and in that decision - I decided maybe I don't want to be married. Heck, I am not ruling it out. I am just putting little to no emphasis on it.
On that note, I think I am going to go to bed. I just re-read all of this and I decided that I will probably be way more sane in the morning. (And hopefully not so easily "set-up").
signed
-cynical single
Look people, I am in a weakened state. I am freakin' sick and can't be accountable for my actions (today, I couldn't even remember where I parked). I have this wierd feeling that I am randomly going to get a call from Joe or Bob asking me out. Then what in the heck am I going to do. FOR GOSH SAKES- my speech teacher tried to hook me up with someone. What's worse is - I think she is going to.
I have recently come to the conclusion that maybe I am just not marriage material, and in that decision - I decided maybe I don't want to be married. Heck, I am not ruling it out. I am just putting little to no emphasis on it.
On that note, I think I am going to go to bed. I just re-read all of this and I decided that I will probably be way more sane in the morning. (And hopefully not so easily "set-up").
signed
-cynical single
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