Just when I started to think things had evened out - not gotten better, just evened out- they took a turn for the worse. haha It never ceases to amaze me how stupid people can be including myself. Just when I think I have hit an all-time-low I manage to top everything I have ever done before. Thank the Lord there is grace.
I would write more but I jacked this off my friend's site and it sums up everything perfectly.
~Abigail
i've not completely let go, though it may seem like it, at the end of the day i am faced with the same feelings. i asked myself a million times, "why".. why it is so difficult to let go and sail to a new boat? im stuck in a port somewhere that's unfamiliar. then again, is the circumstance causing my delayed departure, or is it me choosing to stay? sometimes i feel so confident that i know the answers, but at times i feel as though im back feeling like a helpless child, wandering off a dark alley.
my judgement has betrayed me. i keep seeking truth in every moment, and in every situation, but only to know that the truth i once so believed in, no longer exist. a place that once was so green has now been emptied into a barren waste land.
i only want to feel unconditional, but every moment is opportunity for condition to set it. it is but a labyrinth of confusion, piled up to one another. a sinking ship in the middle of a calm sea. a desperate sos that has never reached its desitination. a driftwood continuing to float in this painful existance.
i need to sail away and find a new territory, maybe then can i find that truth which i seek. then again maybe the answers are right infront of me all along, only i refuse to see it. at this point, i really do not know... they say that "one not need to touch the fire to know that they will get burned"........ but maybe i do need to touch the fire to know that it burns.
is it being unintelligent or be it a brush of faith? again, i do not know.
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