Blind leading the blind cont...

In last weeks blog, I left it at the dramatic point - I stopped answering my phone.

After several calls the guy finally gave up. But I soon couldn’t stand my childishness and decided to call the guy and tell him I didn’t think a relationship was going to work. I was going to give him all the excuses one normally gives in the situation of having a 31-year-old man with two Harleys hitting on her because her speech teacher gave her number out.

I had it all planned out in my head- I would call him and tell him I really wasn’t over my ex. I couldn’t move on - or some such likely excuse.

The phone rang twice, and he answered. With a shaky voice, I asked him how he was doing and he asked me if I got his flowers. Then a horrible thing happened, he started talking to someone else that sounded suspiciously like my speech teacher.

Low and behold, it was. Freaked out, I could no longer continue the “break up”. He said he was over at my speech teacher’s house eating dinner, and I tried to calmly as possible tell him, I hoped he had a great time and I’ll talk to him later.

Nerves shot, I never called him again. He tried once more and gave up. i was worried that my grade in speech class might be in jeopardy, but for some reason, I still managed to pull an “A”.

So yes, I have had my chance at dating the dark mysterious, older Harley-driving man and turned it down. Take from it what you will.

The blind leading the blind

The day was cold and rainy - a sign of what was to come. On Thursdays, I had a several classes including a Speech night class. I was so sick that I couldn’t leave the junior college I attended that day. So I just laid down on the floor and tried to sleep it off. The only reason I made myself stay was because I had a test.

As I sat there taking my test, oblivious to anything besides my own loopiness. (SIDENOTE: I try not to take anything… Because on good days, I smell cough syrup and I am out cold. I have never been tempted to do drugs because it really doesn’t take much to lay me low. That particular day, I had more than my fair share of cough syrup. ) During the test, my teacher called me up to the front of the class. She asked me if I would mind if she gave my phone number to one of her friends. She was completely sure we would be perfect together. He was tall, nice and had a ponytail. Sure he was, 12 years older than me. But what was a little age?

I was completely out of it. I shrugged and told her I really didn’t care. I just needed people to quit harassing me and sleep.

The next morning I woke up with a start, scared at what had happened the night before. I couldn’t remember any details besides the fact that my speech teacher was giving my number out. I finally calmed myself down after realizing the chances of a complete stranger calling my number was slim.

Two weeks later, I received a phone call from a Harley-owning, 31 year old. At the time, I was 19.

After talking to him a week and feeling my grade might be in jeopardy, I agreed to have coffee . I asked him if two of my friends could tag along - a guy and a girl. (SIDENOTE 2:What guy in his right mind goes on a blind date with a girl and her friends?)…

The guy arrived at the coffee shop and stared at me the whole time. Freaked out, I just kept talking. (SIDENOTE 3: I tend to talk even more than normal when nervous) The more I talked the more he acted like he liked me. The next day he sent me funeral flowers. I realize he meant for them to be a kind gesture, but apparently the flower shop had several funerals that week and were in that mindset when they arranged it.

The whole incident disturbed me and so I took the childish approach and stopped answering my phone.

***Read next week’s blog for the conclusion to my second blind date***

You know who you are don't do it again.

In 2006, “Do not answer”* and I were dating. He was absolutely in love with one of my sterling silver bracelets. That fact, only slightly concerned me about him - I mean seriously, it was a girl’s bracelet. To make a long story short, he asked to borrow it and said he would give it back to me on my birthday. Unfortunately, we broke up a week later. The bracelet was lost to me - or so I thought.

Now that I am back on speaking terms with him, I asked for my bracelet back. The bracelet has sentimental value to me as it was given to me by my grandmother. After pretending he gave it to some one else, he came clean and promised to mail it.

I find it rather ironic that my birthday is in a week and kinda hope he sends it back to me in time. I am chocking this one up to another strange “Abigail and her ex” moments, of which, I seem to have so many. I’ll keep you posted as to when I get the bracelet back.

PS: The blog title actually has nothing to do with my ex and has to do with a classified ad in The Shorthorn.

*See “Ex marks the spot”

Ex marks the spot

His name became “do not answer” in my phone.

I thought I cared about him a long time ago, but several years later and plenty of time to reflect - I now know better. I broke up with him, but for years, he would randomly pop back into my life during times of crisis. ***On a side note - how many friends can you really have get shot? During the three years I have known him, he has had at least two friends die from being shot, and he has been shot at himself. Crisis follow this boy.***

Recently, he added me on Facebook, and we started talking again. It seriously doesn’t bother me that we talk, but I do find it rather weird. I found out he has been in a six month relationship. Last week, he sent me a message asking my advice on his relationship. (When did I become “Dear Abby?”) After talking him through his crisis and giving him what little advice I could offer, I found myself wondering how I get in these situations. Currently, I am in communication with all of my ex’s, and I am pretty much the first person they call when they need someone to listen or advice. ***sidenote2: He and his girlfriend are doing well. Apparently they have resolved all their problems.***

I still care about each of them on a strictly friendship basis. I have only dated three guys even remotely serious in my life. All of them were my best friend at the time so I know a lot about their past, fears and problems. But is this really healthy?

Saving my ex’s relationships, one day at a time is definitely not how I plan on living out the rest of my life. I guess I am just too nice.

Spell Check

About a year ago, I delved into the wonderful world of unlimited text messages. The details of how I survived before this are a little hazy and I am unsure that I really was able to function at full “communication capacity” before this. My mom has often said that I have a word quota that I have to get out every day, which would explain why at the end of the day I spend quite a bit of time talking and text messaging.

But my glorious new found freedom of communicating without actually talking comes with a great price. I am unable to send text messages without proper punctuation and will only shorten the word “you” to “u” if the 156 characters allotted per text message isn’t getting my point across.

In fact, to get a text message that says “Wats up wit u. 2nite im gonna zzz good,” sends me into complete meltdown. So I guess my question is - if a guy is going to hit on me via text message, knowing full well that I plan to make a living off my pen, why wouldn’t he put in the extra time to spell out “tonight”?

I wish I could say I have only had one guy try to win me over with bad grammar and shortened words, but that would be an understatement. I just don’t understand this phenomenon, which extends beyond text messages to emails, Facebook wall posts, and the occasional letter (Though I can almost understand people misspelling in letters because obviously they haven’t made a “Papercheck 008″, which handily corrects your penmanship as you write).

Just last week, one of my dear friends decided to tell me I was the girl of his dreams. Unfortunately, the only word in the whole entire text message that resembled something in Websters was the word “dreams”.

Yes, maybe I am being a hypocrite because obviously I fall short of being a whiz at spelling, and I did say there are only two things I am looking for. But nevertheless, I can’t help but feel words do matter, and while occasional misspelling happens it should not be the norm.

So I guess, you can add that to the list of things I am looking for - someone who can spell the word “you”.

Fair Warning

For those who are easily bored this might be the blog you want to skip - consider yourself warned. An explanation to my single status must be taken care of before I can get into the on-going tales of bad blind dates gone wrong, awesome pick-up lines and ex’s who just can’t take a hint.

I don’t date because….

I have never been one to date for the sake of dating. Yes, I have dated several guys and even become serious with a few. I wouldn’t trade what I learned from those relationships for anything, but I have to admit I see dating as rather pointless. I have watched my friends go from one relationship to the next leaving pieces of their heart along the relationship trail, and I can’t see the merit of “dating around”.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe in marriage and getting to know someone before taking the plunge. But when you know the person isn’t right - why bother staying in a dead-end relationship.

* If at this point, if I still have readers and they happen to be wondering - No, I haven’t been in a extremely long relationship*

After dating several guys and having my heart broken at least once, I realized what I was looking for in a relationship. Looks, wealth, career goals and even height (because I am nearly six foot tall and dating shorter can be a challenge) really mean nothing to me. I honestly, just want two things…

What I am looking for:

1) Someone who loves God more than me and has a personal relationship with Him.
2) Someone who loves me a whole heck of a lot.

I don’t think people realize how rare a man my ideal is. I am not asking he be tall, dark and handsome - able to make lots of money and hold a conversation with French noble men. I just want him to fulfill those two requirements.

Staying single is hard because…

The reason dating can be a problem for me is most guys know my expectations and try to mimic what I want. Short-term it seems like it might work but long-term it never does. At this point I would rather be single, because I won’t and can’t settle for any less.

Another reason is because I tend to be outgoing, I constantly have the oddest awkward moments with the opposite sex. Many people, male and female, have mistaken my being nice for flirting and tried to ask me out.

In the future, my blog will probably consist of more of my thoughts on dating, crazy people who can’t take “no” for an answer and past “Abigail dating moments.”

Sheeple

When at a loss - make up a word.

Several years ago after following a crowd of rowdy teenagers off the legendary cliff mothers always warn their children about, my mom sat me down to have the “let’s be unique” conversation. She told me I should strive to not be a “sheeple” (As near as I can figure, she meant sheep are dumb and will follow each other about blindly.)

During this conversation, I guess I must have been listening (evidenced by the fact that I remember the exact word she said), and even decided to not live my life by anyone’s standards but my own. I have been mocked and criticized for my stance on dating and relationships, but then again, the stories that come from my approach to dating have been the amusement of many friends.

As a journalist, my life revolves around writing and the ability to make everything into a story. I have often said everything is a story - one just has to find the right angle. This is the reason, I have decided to blog about my lack of healthy relationships or really - relationships in general. I choose to remain single not because I am picky about looks, types or worldly possessions, but because I have one thing I am looking for and haven’t quite found it yet.

Unfortunately, friends, ex’s and family never seem to understand my happy single state, and thus the amusing stories begin…