Stepmom

In my latest line of work, I get to meet some of the most interesting people. Since people are one of my biggest passions, this can be both good and bad.

Last night I had a table of two dad's and four 13-year-old girls. After giving them, excellent service for over an hour (I wish - but I did try hard, I left the check at the table. One of the dad's asked my name cause by then he had forgotten it.

He said he had a question and asked me where the closest place to buy beer was at. I told him any local convenient store, and he responded "Are you sure, I thought Arlington was dry." I told him I would get him someone who was an "actual" drinker. So I asked another server to answer the question.

After the other server left the dad, said "I have one more question."
I was like, "yes".
And he said," My daughter thinks you are hitting on me."
[What do you say to that????]
I promptly replied that I wasn't because my boyfriend wouldn't appreciate it and I am just a naturally outgoing person.
The girl looked at me and said, "Well it just seemed like you were."
Noticing my ring, she asked,"Are you married?"
I said,"No"
She said, "Don't you like my dad?"
I said,"My boyfriend can't find out." Winked and left....

I swear - I get in awkward situations all the time. But for "ho'ing" myself out - I sure got an amazing tip.

So Hollow..

Why is it when you have nothing left to give - everyone starts calling...

It never fails when I feel I am a goner, nothing left to give, tired beyond belief and unsure about everything - that 10 people call me crying and "lost" looking for answers. My heart breaks for them, yet I feel so inadequate.

Because the POWER comes from His love:

It's moments like these that I realize God's strength. Because when I have nothing left to give, I realize it was never about me to begin with. They just need someone to love them and listen to them. They don't need me shoved down their throats - they just need His love.

I'm in love with a Man I'm in love with a Stranger
I'm in love with my Maker whom I have never seen
I'm in love with the Lamb I'm in love with the Lion
I'm in love with my Savior whom I have yet to know

O won't You let me love You more, this is all that I desire
Won't You let me love You more this is all that I require
Won't You let me love You more this is my deepest heart's desire
Won't You let me love You more still more and more

You could give to me the gift of walking on water
maybe I will raise the dead
I have one life to live all I have to give to You is love
I have one life to live all I have to give to You is love

If I never walk on water if I never see the miracles
if I never hear your voice so loud
Just knowing that You love me is enough to keep me here
Just hearing those words is enough is enough to satisfy
You do You do You satisfy I couldn't leave even if a tried
I must have You I must have You

When it's been said and when it's all been done
When the race is run it all comes to love

I'm living for Love - I'm desperate for Love. I am only satisfied by Him... God Himself is love. I want to live for an audience of one.

You won't relent until You have it all
My heart is Yours

I'll set You as a seal upon my heart
As a seal upon my arm
For there is love that is as strong as death
Jealousy demanding as the grave
Many waters cannot quench this love

Come be the fire inside of me
Come be the flame upon my heart
come be the fire inside of me
Until You and I are one

Quirky Granny

Most people are bland and live out the mundane lives they have carved out for themselves. Their normalcy and decision to strive only to fit in with society keeps them from living extrodanairy lives.Occasionally, I stumble upon a person who makes my life entirely worth living, a person whose quirkiness makes me appreciate my last breath.

This past weekend, I spent most of the day straddling a tractor and raking hay on this piece of property way out in the middle of no where. The land is seemingly eerie. I can't even begin to describe how driving through the gates of this property almost takes you into another diminsion. I am not one to believe in ghosts but according to the owner of the property - there has been many a sighting. The woman inherited the property from her grandmother and said in the evenings she sees her grandmother walking the property.

There is also our neighbor who believes Big Foot exists and lives only to take a picture with the creature. That is his ultimate goal in life.

There are also people who make me wonder how we even exist.

The couple who are trying to get their sister (who is going to jail)'s baby. They live in such horrible conditions that CPS won't let them have the child. In their laziness, they won't do anything to improve their conditions and have sewage running through their property. The woman works next to a free dumping site but never takes advantage of it.

I enjoy my rare quirky finds. Like I said - these people make life worth while.

Faceless clock

Trying not to look at a clock
Losing track of time
Sleep is hard to come by
A regular stand off

He's waiting for her
and she just scared
Foolish really, and she knows it
But He keeps waiting

Shut down, not functioning
Won't fake a smile
She can't keep this up
He knows she'll remember

She finally stops
Realizes what she already knew
He keeps His promise
Time's no longer an issue

Harlot

As I signed my name, a funny look crossed my best friend's face. Looking at him suspiciously, I asked what he was thinking. He replied, "I always thought your last name was harlot - don't get me wrong... I thought that was crazy and I know you are the farthest thing from it - but what can I say - that is what I thought."

God says, " If a husband divorces his wife and she goes from him and belongs to another man, Will he still return to her? Will not that land be completely polluted? But you are a harlot with many lovers; Yet you turn to Me," declares the LORD.
Jeremiah 3:1

You said, "I'll take that harlot"
And You said, "I'll make her my bride"
You said, "I'll take that beggar"
And You said, "I'll make him a king"
You said, "I'll take that pauper"
And You said, "Come sit beside me"
You said, "I'll take those ashes"
And You said, "Beauty, Beauty for ashes"

Harlot has always seemed like such a severe word - only to be used for those who truly deserve it. But I now believe it is also a condition of the heart, and really has nothing to do with what one has done.

And the hardest part
Was letting go not taking part
Was the hardest part

And the strangest thing
was waiting for that bell to ring
It was the strangest start

I could feel it go down
It is sweet I could taste in my mouth
Silver lining the clouds
Oh and I
I wish that I could work it out

I know what I am, I also know who He is... And because of that - I know it will all be okay.

To be His.....

A friend who has always been right there beside me in the trenches was given this and gave it to me.

you cannot force the course of nature
but you can direct yours
you cannot predict another's thoughts
but do not let it pause yours
attachment is an addiction
so acknowledge that u are addicted
and go move on
nobody said you are doomed to one feeling
and no one ever said you are unlovable
all that u are showing is a childish person
that needs to grow up once and for all
do not be afraid to leave people
do not be afraid to hurt them
instead be afraid of hurting yourself
because at the end no one's gonna be there for u
but yourself
every man will hurt you
but not all can break you
so choose the right instinct
because quotes and sayings about love
ain't necessarily true
save yourself for someone
who truly adores u
not someone who hurts u
fall for someone who believes in who u can be
not for someone who lingers on your yesterday
guts matter not blabber
you will soon fly away
just wait patiently
once shut, never open widely again
be cautious
listen to your most trusted person
and best of all do not forget to pray
because at His given time and place
someone will stay...