Tall girls don't sweat the short stuff

Column for the TC News:

Just so we are straight, I don’t believe that men are beneath me—they just are.
Most of my guy friends are shorter than me, but then again, I am 5’11”.
It would probably go over better if I dressed differently, but I actually have more high heels in my closet than I own socks.
When you are as tall as I am, it is physically impossible to have size 6 feet; and any size bigger looks like two pontoons sticking out from underneath my jeans.
Dating a shorter guy is also quite interesting. A friend once told me that guys are really only insecure about three things: their hair, height and I will leave the third for your imagination.
So far, I have found this statement to be true. I mean think about it – if you comment about a guy’s beer gut, typically he just shrugs it off; but if you say anything about his hair, a look of horror will cross his face as he runs to the nearest mirror. There is no greater insult than talking about “the hair”.
Shorter guys make for amusing “romantic” situations. One has to ask the question “To sit? or Not to sit?” for some of the oddest things. Taking pictures, dancing and deep, heartfelt, eye to eye conversations present monumental challenges.
There are many short attractive guys. Unfortunately, platform shoes went out in the 70’s and there is no cure for shortness. I find it ironic that there are pills for depression, “bulking” up and to lose unwanted pounds; and yet there is nothing for short-man syndrome.
It is not as if I can change the fact that I am so tall. It seems like some of these guys actually expect me to fix this problem. I can understand undergoing surgery for having a massive snout but being tall…?
I encourage all you freakishly tall girls out there to stand proud. Wear those three-inch heels. After all, really and truly, is a couple of inches going to matter? You are already towering over most of those poor boys. If you are going to stand out, you might as well be stunningly amazing in flaming hot stilettos.
And for those die-hard “I have to date a guy taller than me” girls, I suggest you move to a city with a great basketball team and practice your splits and toe touches.