The Fight is On

I am so weary. I haven't given in an inch but I haven't gained any ground either. I have been harassed and weakened. My strong foundation which has held for 6 months is now starting to feel the flames. Little things are slipping in between the cracks and causing rifts. Fear is slowly creeping in.... What if????

As tired as I am, there is still a spark of life in me. I am emotionally strained and yet there is that part of me that won't give in. I can't give in, I can't admit defeat. Is it God?? Or am I just being stubborn?? I am not fighting against God - just my circumstances. I am in a Godless place and I have the choice of either removing myself or staying and fighting. I know the truth. I have been tested and tried and I know the high path.

When it comes down to it - it is just God, me and the harassers. And yet, it doesn't have to be that way. They have to flee....

WAGING WAR
by Shane Barnard

It haunts me so
This gloomy weight
That comes and goes
Without a trace
A thousand times my flesh embrace
A thousand more but if for grace

To see the Lord, the promise land
Where in sins pearly gates look bland
And what was once a pearl now sand
That blows away in light of Him

When battle lines become unclear
And the waging war is all I hear
Sustain me with Your voice
And the choice to walk in truth
And by the Spirit

That I might see this day
This waging war might go away
And be no more
That I might see His face
And hear Him say
Son, welcome home
The war is over

“But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ…” (Phil 3:7-8)
Help Lord!

An Abigail Story

I ran across this in my baby journal. I laughed hard, so bear with me. My grandmother wrote this.

On Sunday, March 1,1992, Abigail went to church with her Mom and Dad in Arlington, Texas.

When the offering was being taken, one of the elders said that maybe one of the youth of the church would like to say a prayer for the offering. He asked for someone to raise their hand. -

Shannan, Abigail's mother, looked over at the section of the church where most of the young people were sitting...about that time, she heard the elder say, "Abigail, would you come up and say the prayer." Shannan looked at her five-year old daughter who was sitting with her hand raised. Abigail's father (Doug) said "Okay Abigail -go on up there; you put your hand up."

Abigail went to the front of the church ("flying" in her usual manner; Shannan hasn't been able to make her walk in church). Shannan sat there sort of in a state of shock, not knowing what this child would say -- in her nightly prayers, she is always asking God to "help Mommie be a better Mommie, and Daddy to be a better Daddy, and other things.." Shannan said she couldn't look-- just kept her head bowed the whole time.

Abigail spoke into the microphone: "God (she never says Heavenly Father - but always calls God 'God'"... I just speak a blessing over this offering today; and Lord, I just want you to help the people who don't have any money. And, Lord, help them to get some money. Amen." And after that came back and sat down with her parents.

A few days later, the Elder called Abigail to thank her and (from the conversation overheard by Shannan) must have asked her how she knew what to say. Abigail replied, "God told me what to say."

Now if that isn't typical Abigail I don't know what is.

Unconditional

There He was..... leaning against a wall. Never before had I described a guy as beautiful - but He was. Everything about Him seemed perfect.

I had just walked into a room filled with people. Noticing His gaze, I was captivated. I couldn't help but constantly sneak a look at Him. Oddly enough, He seemed to be watching me. He never took His eyes off of me. I felt curious, not creeped out. There was something about His eyes I couldn't quite understand.

I looked again, and it dawned on me. He was in love. Shocked, I drew back. Surely not, but as I looked again, I knew it was true. He was in love with me. I barely knew Him and yet.... The look in His eyes potrayed a man that was completely and hopelessly in love. All this passion was focused on me alone. The room went silent and He and I where the only two people.

I have never been perfect and yet even though He knew this - He still loved me. I was human and would fail Him once a day and twice on Sunday and He DIDN'T CARE...

I knew in my heart this person would die for me - because He had already....