Ex marks the spot

His name became “do not answer” in my phone.

I thought I cared about him a long time ago, but several years later and plenty of time to reflect - I now know better. I broke up with him, but for years, he would randomly pop back into my life during times of crisis. ***On a side note - how many friends can you really have get shot? During the three years I have known him, he has had at least two friends die from being shot, and he has been shot at himself. Crisis follow this boy.***

Recently, he added me on Facebook, and we started talking again. It seriously doesn’t bother me that we talk, but I do find it rather weird. I found out he has been in a six month relationship. Last week, he sent me a message asking my advice on his relationship. (When did I become “Dear Abby?”) After talking him through his crisis and giving him what little advice I could offer, I found myself wondering how I get in these situations. Currently, I am in communication with all of my ex’s, and I am pretty much the first person they call when they need someone to listen or advice. ***sidenote2: He and his girlfriend are doing well. Apparently they have resolved all their problems.***

I still care about each of them on a strictly friendship basis. I have only dated three guys even remotely serious in my life. All of them were my best friend at the time so I know a lot about their past, fears and problems. But is this really healthy?

Saving my ex’s relationships, one day at a time is definitely not how I plan on living out the rest of my life. I guess I am just too nice.

Spell Check

About a year ago, I delved into the wonderful world of unlimited text messages. The details of how I survived before this are a little hazy and I am unsure that I really was able to function at full “communication capacity” before this. My mom has often said that I have a word quota that I have to get out every day, which would explain why at the end of the day I spend quite a bit of time talking and text messaging.

But my glorious new found freedom of communicating without actually talking comes with a great price. I am unable to send text messages without proper punctuation and will only shorten the word “you” to “u” if the 156 characters allotted per text message isn’t getting my point across.

In fact, to get a text message that says “Wats up wit u. 2nite im gonna zzz good,” sends me into complete meltdown. So I guess my question is - if a guy is going to hit on me via text message, knowing full well that I plan to make a living off my pen, why wouldn’t he put in the extra time to spell out “tonight”?

I wish I could say I have only had one guy try to win me over with bad grammar and shortened words, but that would be an understatement. I just don’t understand this phenomenon, which extends beyond text messages to emails, Facebook wall posts, and the occasional letter (Though I can almost understand people misspelling in letters because obviously they haven’t made a “Papercheck 008″, which handily corrects your penmanship as you write).

Just last week, one of my dear friends decided to tell me I was the girl of his dreams. Unfortunately, the only word in the whole entire text message that resembled something in Websters was the word “dreams”.

Yes, maybe I am being a hypocrite because obviously I fall short of being a whiz at spelling, and I did say there are only two things I am looking for. But nevertheless, I can’t help but feel words do matter, and while occasional misspelling happens it should not be the norm.

So I guess, you can add that to the list of things I am looking for - someone who can spell the word “you”.

Fair Warning

For those who are easily bored this might be the blog you want to skip - consider yourself warned. An explanation to my single status must be taken care of before I can get into the on-going tales of bad blind dates gone wrong, awesome pick-up lines and ex’s who just can’t take a hint.

I don’t date because….

I have never been one to date for the sake of dating. Yes, I have dated several guys and even become serious with a few. I wouldn’t trade what I learned from those relationships for anything, but I have to admit I see dating as rather pointless. I have watched my friends go from one relationship to the next leaving pieces of their heart along the relationship trail, and I can’t see the merit of “dating around”.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe in marriage and getting to know someone before taking the plunge. But when you know the person isn’t right - why bother staying in a dead-end relationship.

* If at this point, if I still have readers and they happen to be wondering - No, I haven’t been in a extremely long relationship*

After dating several guys and having my heart broken at least once, I realized what I was looking for in a relationship. Looks, wealth, career goals and even height (because I am nearly six foot tall and dating shorter can be a challenge) really mean nothing to me. I honestly, just want two things…

What I am looking for:

1) Someone who loves God more than me and has a personal relationship with Him.
2) Someone who loves me a whole heck of a lot.

I don’t think people realize how rare a man my ideal is. I am not asking he be tall, dark and handsome - able to make lots of money and hold a conversation with French noble men. I just want him to fulfill those two requirements.

Staying single is hard because…

The reason dating can be a problem for me is most guys know my expectations and try to mimic what I want. Short-term it seems like it might work but long-term it never does. At this point I would rather be single, because I won’t and can’t settle for any less.

Another reason is because I tend to be outgoing, I constantly have the oddest awkward moments with the opposite sex. Many people, male and female, have mistaken my being nice for flirting and tried to ask me out.

In the future, my blog will probably consist of more of my thoughts on dating, crazy people who can’t take “no” for an answer and past “Abigail dating moments.”

Sheeple

When at a loss - make up a word.

Several years ago after following a crowd of rowdy teenagers off the legendary cliff mothers always warn their children about, my mom sat me down to have the “let’s be unique” conversation. She told me I should strive to not be a “sheeple” (As near as I can figure, she meant sheep are dumb and will follow each other about blindly.)

During this conversation, I guess I must have been listening (evidenced by the fact that I remember the exact word she said), and even decided to not live my life by anyone’s standards but my own. I have been mocked and criticized for my stance on dating and relationships, but then again, the stories that come from my approach to dating have been the amusement of many friends.

As a journalist, my life revolves around writing and the ability to make everything into a story. I have often said everything is a story - one just has to find the right angle. This is the reason, I have decided to blog about my lack of healthy relationships or really - relationships in general. I choose to remain single not because I am picky about looks, types or worldly possessions, but because I have one thing I am looking for and haven’t quite found it yet.

Unfortunately, friends, ex’s and family never seem to understand my happy single state, and thus the amusing stories begin…