Dog and Pony Show.

I long for words to pour out and my ability to dream and create to spring forth. I find myself writing more than I ever have in my life, and yet not writing at all. Seemingly gone, are the days that I am able to express my thoughts on a blank page. I find myself wondering if I have become a machine, and not a human with deep expressive thoughts. Or maybe all this writing has ruined the one thing I hold dear.

A writer is a person for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.
Thomas Mann

If I have lost my passion for writing, then I feel I am a mere visage - nothing deep, just an outer shell of what I used to be. Not being able to write, makes me feel old and useless.

Don't get me wrong - I can write articles until they come out my ears but when it comes to my own individual free thought being transformed on a page, I am utterly deficient.

This has absolutely nothing to do with my blog but I laughed when I read it.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.
Robert Heinlein

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.
Robert Benchley

It is not a bad idea to get in the habit of writing down one's thoughts. It saves one having to bother anyone else with them.
Isabel Colegate

Words

I wish I had the words to write... But that is just it - they are words. I guess desperate, needy, hopelessly and incandesently in love... Those words describe what is going through my head. I am desperate and if I am not - I pray that I soon will be. Nothing matters, everything is tainted without Him.

All my loves are secondary to this one...My heart was made to love Him. My heart craves that love. I cannot deny it.

Fear

My old adversary stood looking at me with a sickly grin on his face. He knew I was broken, weary and worldly. His eyes showed no compassion - only pleasure as he carefully planned his final blow. He had been after me for a while and we had fought many times.

This was no different. Sadly, I was no different.

He had robbed me of my dignity, my hopes and happiness... And I had let him. But no more. He thought he had won. He felt surely this time he could take me down.

But as always, I remembered what it was like to be free and victorious. What it was like to have a champion who fights all my battles for me. I quickly sought Him out and with remorse begged for Him to take me back. My champion had been waiting in the wings. Waiting for me to remember Him.