The Majesty of War

A letter to my husband:


I can't wait until you wake up and I get to read you this thing from Francis Frangipane. I feel it's exactly what you need today. God has us in a season. It's a season to develop an everlasting love for Him. A deeper love than we have every experienced. A fire that can't be quenched. He has graciously bestowed this time on us, because He doesn't want us to miss it. Healing, ministry, church, raising Godly children, prayer - it's all good - but nothing compares to just pouring out and developing our love potential.

I'm still hung up on:

"The degree of power displayed in our lives is directly porportional to the degree that we have surrendered to the will of God and know the will of God."

How far am I away from surrendering? What won't I give up? It kinda is a scary thought. You never really know what you will do until the situation arises. I think I am pretty prepared to do the will of God until He asks that one thing I have been holding back unknowingly. It's a tricky business. But to love Him is to surrender to His love. I want to give Him everything. I just hope that I do.

I had a vision. My vision was I was looking at a painting, almost as an art analyst. The painting looked like an old George Washington Battle Scene. In the center was a white horse with a heavenly horde of angels and saints surrounding it. The painting was divided almost down the middle. On one side was darkness and on the other was light. The saints looked weary, but were gaining ground. They kept fighting even though their victories were sometimes centimeters. They knew that they would win. On the side lines, there was a bunch of newbies fresh out of bootcamp. Waiting for their turn, in this awesome battle.

There is an intense fire in this house. The battle lines are revealed. The rose colored glasses no longer hide the raging war between good and evil. Here in all it's blood and glory, the spiritual realm collides with earth. You know how we were talking about war being an awful thing. The vision I have in my head is anything but. It's actually one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. The Angels and Saints are pushing back the darkness. Tired and weary, they rise to the occasion every time because they know they are gaining ground. I want to be out there. I still feel like a new recruit. But the weary saints are in need of some back up. They have fought the good fight and now it is time for the younger generation to stand up. I've decided there is even beauty and majesty in war.

So much to learn, so little time. Luckily, it really comes down to love.

The drum beats close in...

My heart feels so many different emotions tonight. It's stirred up with a fire that starts in my bones and won't be shut out. It's also heavy with so much laid upon it. Part of it just wants to scream, cry out and sing at the top of my lungs. But I know, the sounds that come forth won't do the impression I have on my heart justice.

My heart pounds with a beat that resounds throughout my body. A call of war that cannot be shutdown or shutout. The beat sends mixed feelings through me. Feelings not unlike a brand new soldier's, fresh out of bootcamp, first day of combat.

Timing is running out. People get ready. Jesus is coming! This knowledge grows stronger everyday.

It's building... The fury... It's building... The passion... It's building... The Love.

The desire to know Him and be known by Him.... Consumes me.

I heard this quote today and I plan on learning to understand it more:

"The degree of power displayed in our lives is directly porportional to the degree that we have surrendered to the will of God and know the will of God."

I am also checking my heart for judgement. When I talk to people, I want it to be out of love. I have been reading Francis Frangipane's book Exposing the accuser of the brethren:

"That someone should discover the imperfections of their pastor or church is by no means a sign of spirituality. Indeed, we could find fault with the church before we were Christians. What we do with what we see, however, is the measure of Christlike maturity. Remember, when Jesus saw the condition of mankind, He 'emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond servant... He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.' Phil 2:7-8. He died to take away sins; He did not judge them."

It's a fine line between correcting and judging. Deliverance ministry and prophecy also cause many people to feel judged, and I need to be more sensitive. I am amazed at what God has taught me in the last couple of months. I feel so honored and blessed that I am getting this crash course. It has not been easy, but I needed the wake up call.

I just want to be on fire. To stand in His presence and burn - nothing else matters.