Will this day ever end...

I feel like one of those punching dolls that you beat the crap out of and yet they always re-erect themselves - meanwhile wearing a taunting grin. Though currently, I am only grinning to keep from bawling.

I am constantly wondering exactly how I can one up the last "Abigailism". Well wonder no more- I did. In fact, as near as I can figure, the only thing that could over-power the last situation would be -- A gay guy turning straight for me.

I have had some doozys; I am not even going to lie. Everything from stickering old drunk guys to being kissed by a vampire. And yet each one - worse than the last.

I would write a book about all of this but first off nobody would believe it and second it wouldn't make any sense. I suppose that has me amusing my friends with my little stories but unfortunatly that leaves me wide open for mockery. I think there are MANY details of my life that are better left unsaid.

Amuse yourselves. Ya'll are not laughing over the last couple of "crazy Abigailism's" at my expense. Asking will get you no where. Thank goodness Thanksgiving break is almost here -- I NEED a break. I am going to chock up some previous mistakes to lack of sleep and sanity.(Though I am not sure how true that is) .

I am going to bed.

~Abigail

No Vacancy

Seriously, has the world gone mad??? All of the sudden, I feel like I am being surrounded by well-meaning aquaintances trying to hook me up with someone. When did I get the tatoo that reads "Vacant" or "Lookin for love". I am perfectly fine continuing on my cynical single route -never quite finding "Mr. Right". I had at least 3 people today try to set me up with their best friends uncle's son.

Look people, I am in a weakened state. I am freakin' sick and can't be accountable for my actions (today, I couldn't even remember where I parked). I have this wierd feeling that I am randomly going to get a call from Joe or Bob asking me out. Then what in the heck am I going to do. FOR GOSH SAKES- my speech teacher tried to hook me up with someone. What's worse is - I think she is going to.

I have recently come to the conclusion that maybe I am just not marriage material, and in that decision - I decided maybe I don't want to be married. Heck, I am not ruling it out. I am just putting little to no emphasis on it.

On that note, I think I am going to go to bed. I just re-read all of this and I decided that I will probably be way more sane in the morning. (And hopefully not so easily "set-up").

signed

-cynical single

Icky

Okay, so today has been kinda a bummer. First I woke up with a sore throat and a nagging cough. And second, all the power went off at the journalism lab. We are literally sitting on pins and needles- waiting for it to be repaired. Seeing as my job- my livelihood (No, I will not get off this soapbox) is at stake. It is making for an interesting day.

On the other hand, I am perfectly peaceful about all this and even quite happy. I didn't want to work on pages today and I even made the remark that I would rather chew my own hand off than build page 9. So all in all - today was an absolutely MARVELOUS day..

So instead of actually doing what I was supposed to be doing, researching my next article for the paper (which is over a subject not brought up in polite conversation -leastways not by this chick), I spent most of the afternoon doing what Abigail does best. Which I am technically unsure as to what that might be but let me say - I did it well.

On a sidebar, I am absolutely hoarse from screaming at the top of my lungs because some idiot thought it would be fun to pin me down and tickle me. So if I loose my voice completely, you are welcome to laugh. Enjoy the moment because truly it is rare. In fact, I have only had laryngytis once in my lifetime and I was told the whole world seemed like a quieter place.

Signed,

the freakishly-tall, bible-beating brunette

Finally - a break...

It truly has been an amazing week. I won't go into detail but believe me -AMAZING.. Of course, in Abigail language that means lots of freaky, unexplainable, things that make me smile happened. Thank goodness for that. I have been needing the freaky; )

I refuse to be the kind of person that counts down the days until this semster is over. Of course, I have to admit it is taking everything in me not to. Being one of "those" kind of people would be beneath me though.

In other news, I had my driving critiqued the other day. This lady stopped me in the parking lot and brazenly told me that whatever moron gave me my driver's license should take it back. I just flashed her a smile and nodded my head (heck, it is probably true any ways because I couldn't remember even seeing her car on the road). I guess she didn't much appreciate me smiling because she gave me this utterly vicious glare and then peeled out of the parking lot.

For those of you who know me well, I thought I would inform you that my "Devil May Care" day has come and gone. It was a much milder bout than usual but still quite lethal. Needless to say, it ended with my mom prying a shot gun out of my hands (that darn cat). But not to fear because as those who know me know - It only happens about once a year.

Yes, I do ramble... But in my defense it has been - one of those days...

~Abigail

The plot thickens.

Just when I started to think things had evened out - not gotten better, just evened out- they took a turn for the worse. haha It never ceases to amaze me how stupid people can be including myself. Just when I think I have hit an all-time-low I manage to top everything I have ever done before. Thank the Lord there is grace.

I would write more but I jacked this off my friend's site and it sums up everything perfectly.

~Abigail

i've not completely let go, though it may seem like it, at the end of the day i am faced with the same feelings. i asked myself a million times, "why".. why it is so difficult to let go and sail to a new boat? im stuck in a port somewhere that's unfamiliar. then again, is the circumstance causing my delayed departure, or is it me choosing to stay? sometimes i feel so confident that i know the answers, but at times i feel as though im back feeling like a helpless child, wandering off a dark alley.

my judgement has betrayed me. i keep seeking truth in every moment, and in every situation, but only to know that the truth i once so believed in, no longer exist. a place that once was so green has now been emptied into a barren waste land.

i only want to feel unconditional, but every moment is opportunity for condition to set it. it is but a labyrinth of confusion, piled up to one another. a sinking ship in the middle of a calm sea. a desperate sos that has never reached its desitination. a driftwood continuing to float in this painful existance.

i need to sail away and find a new territory, maybe then can i find that truth which i seek. then again maybe the answers are right infront of me all along, only i refuse to see it. at this point, i really do not know... they say that "one not need to touch the fire to know that they will get burned"........ but maybe i do need to touch the fire to know that it burns.

is it being unintelligent or be it a brush of faith? again, i do not know.

Hurt

I wish our distance would disappear

You got to know

That I want you

And I need you here



I think of you when Im alone

I think of you when Im afraid

I think of you everyday



I think of you when Im awake

I think of you when Im with her

I think of you everyday



-The Chemistry





Help me, help you

They won't be there

Help me, help you

They won't see



It hurts when you need me

And I can't break your fall

And it hurts when you can't see

And it hurts



And it hurts when you're lonely

And I'm standing right beside you there

And it hurts when you told me

That you'll try this on your own



-Thousand Foot Krutch

Homegrown

I think that some people have decided that I have changed, which in all reality might be true. But I feel that I am still the same girl that likes to take long walks in the dark barefoot staring up at the moon, and engage in all sorts of hickish activities. I will always crave East Texas and all it represents. It is my comfort zone, and the place I feel happiest. Sure, one day I will move and start a life elsewhere, but I will always return. And that dreamy, stupid, utmost happy look on my face will always be present when I do.

Today, I helped my dad rake hay. Glamorous job - let me tell you. I honestly look like a Mexican, I am so dark right now. Unfortunately, the tan lines are less than to be desired but at least it is not a farmer's tan.

I really don't have much more to say right now. I will write more later.


~Abigail

Quotes of the Day:

Okay for some reason, I am in a Elizabeth Peters - I am really tall- what the heck- mood. So bear with me.

"This Time It Wasn't My Fault.
On several previous occasions I have found myself up to my neck in trouble (and that's pretty high up, because I am almost 6 feet tall), which might have been avoided if I had displayed a little ladylike discretion. This time, however, I was innocent of everything except stupidity. They say some people attract trouble, I attract people who attract trouble."

"A man can't understand why a women's handbag is such a sensitive object- almost an extension of her person. I don't fully understand it myself. Maybe it's because we keep so many private intimate possessions in our purses- love letters, cosmetics, jelly doughnuts... Maybe a purse is a symbol of the womb, or something equally Freudian. I can't explain it, but I know I hate the idea of a stranger's hands rummaging in my bag."

"What women in her right mind would want to be six feet tall? How can you look coyly up at a man from under your lashes when your eyes are the same level, or higher? How can you find skirts long enough to cover your knees? Put a pitchfork in my hand, and I look like a farmer; put a spear in my hand and I look like and undernourished Valkyrie. I'd much rather be cute and cuddly like Gerda- well maybe not quite that cuddly.

-Elizabeth Peters